Friday, January 13, 2017

My Whyyy-yyyyy-yy

Yes, I know Annie Lennox would be proud of that title. But musical distraction aside, that's not what I'm here to talk about today...

I'm here to talk about my "why". WHY I got into LuLaRoe, WHY I am here today, WHY I'm writing a blog post...

So where to begin? A little background, if you will...

I grew up in Northern California for the first 20 yrs of my life. I LOVED it there. I still do. I miss the ocean like crazy now. And when I lived there, I was all about music. I have been a musician since the age of four (vocal and instrumental), and while I lived there, that was my life. I played in bands, quartets, sang in choirs, taught saxophone lessons... and, at that point, I was going to teach music. Because I loved doing it.

So I moved to Colorado to go to college, with the thought of being a music teacher in my mind. And that went well for a few years until I realized that I didn't know if being a teacher was right for me at the time. So I graduated with a Bachelor's in Technical Journalism with a Public Relations concentration. And a music minor. *insert breath here* So now you may understand the writing a blog post a little more... ;) But I got into writing because I loved doing that too.

So I did some PR/media relations stuff, while keeping my job at a shoe store, because I LOVE shoes. And clothes too. From a very young age, I've been putting outfits together and playing dress up (that still hasn't changed). Because I loved it. Hey, anyone sensing a theme here... ? ;)

Flash forward to seven years ago. I came back to Colorado after hanging out in North Carolina for a bit. My life had hit a wall of sorts, and I decided to go to massage school. Because, honestly, it was shorter than PT school. What I didn't expect was for me to fall head over heels in love with it. Seriously, every little bit. And it was definitely one of my callings. I was good at it, people wanted to come see me because I taught them about their bodies, and my enthusiasm for the trade was obviously clear. And all was going SO well until...

October 29, 2014. It's kinda like my D Day. I was in a horrible car accident. One you don't forget quickly or ever will. I thought I could bounce back like any other day. I mean, I HAD to work. But something else intervened when I heard the words I'll never forget: "You dissected your vertebral artery. You need to take a break and rest or you could have a stroke." I was 38 at the time. And I wasn't about to have a stroke at 38.

I rested, I recouped. I went back to work three months later. But I still wasn't me. I worked for a year after I was cleared, and then, about a year ago, the mental and physical things associated with an major accident came out in force. So I was forced to take some time off from massaging. As much as I hated doing it, I NEEDED to do it. To get myself back. The girl I was pre-10/29/14.

So about six months ago, I was introduced to LuLaRoe by a friend from high school, who was starting her own boutique. I loved the clothes and I loved how I could mix and match things. And wear Converse with EVERYTHING (and I do). Mandy (my now sponsor) said that we bonded over "Carly's and Converse", and there is no truer statement. And as I saw what fun she was having, and how their clothing even fit MY body ( I thought my legs were going to break the TC leggings), I thought this might be an option, especially after finding out that I had torn my labrum in my shoulder and that going back to massage was going to be a long road...

So I signed my contract on 9/11/16, and I cried. Not because I wasn't excited about the life change, but that's what it was, a LIFE CHANGE. I had to put something I loved on the back burner and I didn't know how to do that. And it was scary and it was heart-wrenching. But it was for the best.

So as I sit here, contemplating my "why", there were a few different reasons "why" I became a consultant...

1) The money. I wanted to be able to pay my own bills again. To have some independence again.

2) To help women feel as beautiful as I do in LuLaRoe's clothing. As a plus size woman, I used to hate to go shopping because even "plus sized" things didn't fit right. Maybe a few stores figured it out, but not all of them. And when I tried on LLR's clothing, I immediately felt beautiful. And it FIT! I just wanted to give that back. Sizes don't matter- it's what's in your heart that does. And I love bringing that out with clothing. Whether it's telling someone she looks amazing, or helping her style something, the minute I see that light come out, I immediately know that I picked the right path for myself at this point in my life.

3) To live. There are a couple of different meanings to this one. Obviously, I want to make money so I can live. So I can afford things. Do things. But the other meaning is more personal. When that doctor told me that I could have a stroke (the artery is now healed), it woke me up. You see, I've always been one hard worker. To the point of overdoing it sometimes. So this whole thing forced me to slow down and really examine my life. And while I still have flare ups, both mentally and emotionally, being a consultant lets me slow down and still work. I am ALWAYS working on balancing this aspect of my life, but maybe now, I will. So in every definition of the word, I want to "LIVE". I don't want to redissect that artery. I don't want to get so stressed that the lingering symptoms cause a stroke or something worse. I don't want to live to work; I want to work to live. And being a consultant and working for myself allows me this luxury. To take a breath when I need it. To not stress my shoulder so much. It's something that I didn't know I needed in my life, and something that I am truly blessed to be a part of. And I love it. :) And slowly but surely, that pre-10/29/14 girl is starting to surface again. And I'm happy she decided to join the party again because I sure did miss her...



Thank you for reading my mini-novel. It may be long, but it came from the heart. Every last word.





No comments: